Connections

I have been silent I know for quite a bit of time. I wanna feel this sense of guilt and neglect in being inconsistent in writing my voice and thoughts. Yet how do you feel guilty over something that is an inspired moment in time to say something..... should it be forced? Yet life steals moments in which one always says " I just don't have this extra time for this or this is not a priority right now. Lazy hands make thoughts idle and left wanting... I been wanting and yet now I trust the universe's moment for me to speak. I been also knowing that as we have heard before.. life just does not just happen by itself, we have to show up. Universe moves.. we listen and then we must put our hands to labor and bring into fruition. Manifesting must be made into materialization in which we touch in reality. So that being said I have been trying to put myself in practice of listening when I feel something speaking in me and instead of saying.. "oh that would be a good topic, I will do it later.." I say no... I will sit down and do it right now. Listen and act. This is one of those moments.

Connections... where do we start. This can go so many places, yet I think this is about soul connections with people in our lives. I have really been thinking about this lately. I feel like right now and as it has been, there is a universal shift of constant transitions. My last blog was about transitions. It continues. As we shift  and energy shifts so do people in our lives. For myself I have felt not only is there a life shift in many areas, I feel like I am being prepared. Not only for where it is going, but for the people that will cross my path. The unknown anticipation. Yet, something I am learning is that it is not just about the future of those to come, but about the past as well. The universe has an interesting way of weaving people in and out of your life at the most opportune times for some reason in which you have no idea why. Yet, you welcome it with open arms because for whatever reason it resonates with you. The universe simply asks us to be present.

 I have been learning that there is patience and openness in understanding we are constantly shedding skin and becoming new people. Though some things seem to stay the same whether viewed good or bad, our experiences and spaces in our lives are always in evolution. Our perspectives, thoughts, experiences, desires, wants, knowledge, self awareness and the list can go on, allow us to see only what we CAN see at THAT POINT in time. We sometimes look back and think or wish something could have been different. But is that necessarily true? I believe we have to trust that we were in that time who we were supposed to be and we could only work within those parameters of what we perceived to be our truth.  Now the new lesson that has come to me is.. am I really present when I am with someone in my life  no matter what capacity that is? partner, friend, sibling, parent. Do we often find ourselves questioning our interactions with people and feeling with certain people like there is a lack of closure perhaps from the past. Why is this? What is missing for us that we all of the the sudden seem to see it now? 

The feelings are often regret.. but there is no need to feel regret. In some instances this is where it is supposed to be. Still it can be a catalyst to think about how present we are with people. Are we really SEEING them and embracing them or are we so busy trying to get to the next destination of labels of them in our lives. Are we seeing roles in our lives that we neatly package up and mark "lesson" "experience" "memory" "encounter". We fix them up so that they neatly make sense in our lives at the time, but maybe they are not supposed to. When you truly SEE someone, they don't "fit", they connect. Some connect briefly, some connect for a long time, some for life, some disconnect and reconnect.. but they are always connected. They don't connect the way you want, they connect the way the universe wants. If it was up to us we'd make a mess of things. People evolve us..it is the sure mirror of growth. We are pushed out of our boundaries and forced to trust the unknown territory of emotions and change as no two people are alike. Every connection is valid and purposeful even those that hurt or are uncomfortable for us. We must be present. Being present allows us to see what things give to us a life source of knowledge and soul wisdom. This comes in all forms and  in ways we least expect. Don't be quick to dismiss them. I am not one to act as if this is something I have come to master in my life. The hurtful ones I always think are dismissive... but they are just as valuable. I must work around the thorns that do serve their purpose, so that I can eventually get to the rose. Then I am blessed with beauty...

All are valuable.. and some truly move you deeply. Listen to those ones. They are special. There is a message waiting with them that even they don't know they have for you. It's remarkable. I recognize them. My soul recognizes them. I do not understand it and yet I know just enough to know that it resonates with me. They come to me with an uncanny ease. It just "clicks". We think this sometimes is not possible, but it does exist. Some are present in our everyday lives, some come and go or are infrequent, but they are unmistakable. Never do I ever try to remove them from where they are to be in my life. They are in it the way they are for a reason. Our greatest ruin is the arrogance of control. Let the grip go. Let it flow. If we are in tune and present, our souls know what to do with them. 

I feel grateful to have had a connect today with a connection that has been in and out of my life, yet always there in their own way. This person inspired these thoughts I share with you. I was triggered by a comment that this person said "I feel like we missed each other sometimes or at least I missed seeing you, For you. Wish i'd had better perspective on that in the moment"  I really sat with that when that was said to me, hit me and got me to really thinking deeply. That was a great reflective moment for me and I don't regret one moment of our connection and how it has unfolded. It was timely as it was supposed to be. Regardless if really SEEING that person in your life could or could not have changed anything in that course of time, still, do we SEE them. Are we embracing them fully in that moment or moments and being present. It's nothing to be discouraged about or again be regrettable about; perhaps we simply weren't ready at that time to see it.  But like universal divine timing, when we open ourselves up to be present and be a receptacle, then we will receive. We have to simply trust that we have been hooked up at the right time with the right connections....

 With soul,

Artistic Soul

Transitions

-"WE ARE IN POWERFUL TIMES of transition and transformation. This week, in particular, supplies the planetary alignments that can help us release old limitations and more fully integrate higher vibrational aspects of Self into this human vessel. "
-"Relationships of all descriptions have been tested and transformed, some remaining intact in new form, others being released through psychic or physical partings. Financial situations, another Venus theme, have fluctuated widely for many as we've learned new ways to open to receive, both from ourselves and from the world, as a reflection of our self-value."

Younghans, Pam. Northpoint Astrology Journal, 2011, http://www.northpointastrology.com/1533.html

This word TRANSITION has become a blaring red flashing sign in my peripheral vision. I acknowledge that many of my friends are feeling this shift. It's something that can't be ignored as it makes me ponder this constant resurfacing of this word. I found some confirmation of this when I recently attended a close friend's solo art show and it was entitled "Transitions". Ok how convenient is that? I started to think there must be something to this. Ironically enough, as evident as it was written in bolded print, I failed to see it in my life. A recent conversation with a friend, who listed all the changes in my life that made me stop and think and yet I was still a bit clueless. To make it get even better, I know I have found myself expressing the word transition clothed in a different name called " changes" quite a few times, but still found myself with a disconnect. It was like my mind was aware I was going through changes both in mental and physical manifestations, but my true awareness and connection was lagging behind. How often do we find ourselves so disconnected that we just get used to hearing the same things roll of our tongues but there is no real realization, meaning or intention in the words. How often do we have conversations perhaps with friends in which the question may go something like this " How are things going? " , the response, " I am doing good, you know alot of changes... " you may say this quite a few more times. But do we really get it?

In that conversation with a friend who was listing all "my changes", I found myself unsure how to respond. She had wrapped it all up so pretty with a bow. She was more connected, insightful and enthusiastic in these " transitions" of my life than I was. I sat there thinking " wow have I just missed out on something monumental? We often roam through our everyday looking for some grandiose affirmation of our value as people and look for the warm fuzzy feelings of accomplishments. We sometimes think that our greatest victories and rewards of happiness come from our preconceived ideas of how they should appear. We fail to see that sometimes they are the most simplest of transitions that have the greatest value or impact and are part of the greater whole in our ever changing journey. The sum of all parts do equal a whole. These changes have taken a backseat.  We tend to like change to be as harmless as possible. We like no dirty messes and the least amount of casualties involved, that including ourselves and others. Many of us don't know how to accept, acknowledge and embrace change. We are people that like the predictable often times so that we can prepare ourselves with layers of protective armor. For myself I had to realize that "transition" can wear many hats and come in many different forms and none are less of value in contribution to our lives than the other. Sometimes it is pleasant, sometimes it is invasive and abrupt. Sometimes it is subtle and non intrusive and other times it is daunting and yet unassumingly revealing.

The northpoint astrology journal was another confirming revelation that "transitions" are happening and they are leading to "transformations". This is why it is important to pay close attention. We don't want to miss this universal occurrence. These times can become inspiring mile markers of our lives to help us feel encouraged of our constant movement and evolution, even when we don't see it or understand it.  We can get so bogged down in our daily lives with what we have not accomplished, where we have not arrived, how we have not changed, that we miss the one grain of sand that multiply to make up the beach. I say this with a startling revelation that I am missing the joy of the journey as compared to the destination. I mentally have seen the shifts and changes, but I consciously have not connected with my heart. My own personal experience has awaken me to stop and think. I don't think I have completely arrived in fully getting it, but I am putting it together like a puzzle. I am unsure how it all has eluded me. Major happenings have occurred in my life. I went from unemployment to a new job, displacement from one home to finding one in perfect timing, finding new direction creatively and opening my world to new options of relationships and people. To name a few.. who knows what other things are occurring that I have missed. I think that we have to question how other people can see the significant changes and growth in our lives before we do?

We have to be careful of becoming desensitized to our own progression. This is a dangerous game that is like an addiction that only leaves us with a bad trip, making us feign for more. The result? nothing.. just an addiction. We look for all the wrong things that can create a quick high to fill us up. Our high is natural. It is always there in ourselves. It is perspective. Do we see transition in our lives or do we "SEE" transitions in our lives. We must throw off the blinders and limitations and open our eyes. They are waiting to take us to another level. It is our precursor to the continuous desire of the universe to give us great things. These times are coaching us and giving us nice pats on the back of our self esteem, preparing us to be open to receive. When things become sudden, we suddenly realize that we have been moving through transitions small and large all along and it is time for us to get on this ride and buckle in.

With soul,

Artistic Soul



       

The Waiting Game

Here I am!!!!!! My apologies as always for staying away for so long. I repeatedly tell myself I must get better at this. Life and the sheer white wall of thoughts that sit on you trying to think about what can be written about next. Let me share that one thing I do not like to do is write just to write. I do take great care and thought to make sure I share in my writing something to move you, stir you, interest you, provoke you, encourage and whateveresle I would want to read myself. Empty words are empty unmoved minds. So with that being said I feel that perhaps the best way to reintroduce myself back into your minds and hearts is to share some personal life with you and current transition I have embarked upon....

NEWFLASH- Sept 30, 2011 - Angela M. Calvin was without forewarning termintated from her job of 7 years. Reasons vaguely stated and truly unknown. She packed her things and walked out to the unknown. Some perhaps reassurance was that maybe a little unemployment would assist. To her surprise she was denied. What!!!!!??? how did this happen and why after so many years?! was this the thanks I get?! yes... there ensued many moments of $&#!@ expletives expressed. Needless to say the case was fought and unemployment won, but not before the weighted fear of the "unknown" and incessant nagging of bittneress and anger pushed to set in.

Have some of us at some point been here? The shock of the unknown being thrusted into our laps without our consent? The feeling that we have so mapped out our lives that when the curve on the road forces us to take a sharp turn in a different direction we curse and throw our fists in anger that we now are on the wrong course.... but are we? Do we sit in some spaces feeling wronged on the side of the road feeling we "deserve" better than we have perhaps been treated by people, employers, family etc. you fill in the blank. Deserve what? What is it that we deserve when many of us don't know what that is? How many of us are in a place in our lives that we feel we should be given more in a place that fails to see that we are worth more. If they don't see it, then what are we expecting? We don't even see it in ourselves. The best thing that one who has dismissed you is to DIMISS you. It freed you...... consider it a FAVOR.

You can apply this story in whatever aspect you like as a principle. You can apply it in Love, Career, Family, Friends and whatever sub catergories your mind can phathom. My angle I am coming from is the impending question of how to be happy with a purpose in which to use our talents. I have in this time of "purgatory" felt a shift in the universal energy. People are realizing that they want to be happy with how they earn a living and live life. Then again perhaps I am just late on the jump and missed this epiphany that many have had for quite some time. Regardless, this has been a long time coming for me to come to realization of this perspective. I must admit this is a place of fear and holding to old ways of established thinking that has to be undone. It is a place that many people have come to live; in a world that has trained us to work for "someonelse" and not for ourselves or to work to make another happy and not ourselves. When did we start believing that someonelses happiness and personal wealth was more valuable than our own? When did we leave the content of our character and worth of our talents to the interpretation of a stranger? I would be safe to say that the reflecting mirror we should be looking in would express to us that those who employ us are simply lucky to "borrow" our gifts to be contributed to their well being and success. We forget that many a companies' successes are built on the backs of those that do the "grunt" work to those that manage an army. When we realize this, how do we maximize our potential and contribution where we are in companies or to move on to self employ ourselves... this is the underlined question. How do you best serve YOU?

YOU , yes YOU.... It's unfortunate that those of us in the US market have been conditioned to build another's kingdom. Let me say that there is nothing wrong with being apart of the team, but are you getting valid playing time on the court and getting a fat paycheck in the end? I have to say I was one that for many years enslaved myself to another's kingdom. I believe that we all have to pay our dues. We all may need to toss the slop around, but at what point do we start to recognize that perhaps we have evolved to be more. Experience is experience, but Expertise is expertise. Many of us need to realize we can get to the point of EXPERTISE in whatever that may be for you. I spent so long timidly asking for what I wanted instead of demanding. Demanding not in disrespect, but in respect of self. I realized I just should have donated my time. Yet let me not discount the time spent in this space. I have to say that a person in touch with self will realize that in any condition there is personal growth. The issue is that many of us stay beyond the lesson and end up sitting in class alone while others moved on to the next period. DING THE BELL RANG!!!!!!!!!!! MOVE ON!

Moving on... how do you move on when you feel you weren't ready! well... you think you were not, but universe would say different. Even if you don't believe that there is a higher being or the "universe" to move you along, realize that another's actions you deem as unfair is a move in the right direction for you. There is a larger picture you simply don't see. Every action has a reaction of other domino affects. Let me say it is easy to say all this but much harder to believe when you are sitting in front of a pile of bills, annoying credit card calls, a near empty fridge and an on "E" tank of gas. Suddenly, the tangibility of reality sets in as opposed to the ethereal belief of the universal law working in your favor. But have no fear, though I can't give you an answer as I still sit here confused as to how this will all work out. The thought that WOW! maybe I can actually use the degeree I worked for in which, the loan companies are hounding me for payback that I keep derferring. What a concept. What I can offer is ... I am with you and you are not alone.

Not alone is what I have felt despite being in a place I have never been and dreaded being. I am a person of stability. I always envied and still do of the people that take off to a foreign country with $10 in their pockets and teach english earning their living in the back jungle tribal villages of whyyouherewithmypeopleandwillnotleave. My humor sorry, but you get what I am saying. I can honestly say that though I feel like I am in a "catch 22" of needing to find a "JOB" as opposed to finding my "CAREER" to provide for myself as soon as possible, I feel a certain sense of peace and happiness. Somtimes the greatest happiness is not in the "KNOWN" or the stability of a situation, but the instability of not being in control that gives you control. It's the control to finding you and steering your life according to where you want to go, not have to go. I think there are times we need to be still. Sit still and enjoy. We may not be able to sit there forever, but we can indulge ourselves a bit. We need to be patient with trusting that there is a resolution. Fear is not the boss of us but we have fired it for a better candidate of hope. I can't say I have mastered this but I am not slave any longer to the option of being stagnant and undervalued. I do feel that I have a new battle as fear wants to creep into my new journey.

A new journey is what I am on. A new journey is what you can be on. There is an excitement in the notion of "possibility". Is there a possiblity that you can truly be happy in using your talents for your own personal wealth? I have no idea what direction to go.. where to start, but for now I am hanging on to the notion of "possibility". All that one can do is work. Labor in love and think into fruition your true reality of what you want. It's the freedom to realize that you can get there during this time of the Waiting Game....

with soul,

Artistic Soul