Sexuality: Innocent till Proven Guilty?

Ciara banned from BET for being too racy and sexual for the audiences' viewing... Yet Trey Songz can be shown on same network in a video called "The Neighbors Know My Name" and we all know we're not talking about the a friendly hello from Mr Smith as he picks up the morning paper. So why the hypocrisy? why the double standard? Fact of the matter is that Ciara perhaps had no idea what hornets nest she stirred up of gender and sexuality discourse that would occur. Although there are many layers to this onion of complexities in this one video... it would be wise to cover a particular and that is a woman's sexuality. The age old battle never ceases and is ever evolving in the ways in which it makes an impact on women from generation to generation. Just when one may think they have it figured out there is always that small crack or crevice in which perfect chaos slips through.. perfect chaos that is packaged in the image of mass media that market and sell question marks in our minds of what we as a woman should feel about our sexuality, while they seem to make periods. End of statement.. no commas, no semi colons, no open ended sentences. But I think that some things need to be edited..

Should a confident woman expressing her sexuality as Ciara did in the video be considered lewd, vulgar, inappropriate, unlady like, oversexed or too dare I say masucline? Should she have to apologize for it or relegate herself to be in the background of the music video as a sex prop, eye candy or an accessory. Women question in their minds all too often as they walk out their doors and tug on their skirt wondering if it's too short, finding that button positioned a bit higher that could seal the cleavage in or their lipstick a color code for an inappropriate proposition. There's the constant whispers of societal imposed morals or our families' inherited values that weigh heavy on us pushing us on the edge or coddling us oh too tightly that sometimes we never ask our ownselves how do WE feel? When has our sexuality as individual women become the "example" for the multitudes and not a personal responsibility to be true to ourselves first, thus we can be truth in reality to the many, because then it is coming from a real place. It's a fine line that thing called "personal example" for many. Can you be considered an individual if you are slave to the opinion of many? Sexuality seems to have censorship in which is delegated as seen fit when it serves a greedy hand's profiting purpose, but let not a woman own that which is hers. Let not a woman grow wise to the fact that she doesn't have to twerk her hips in that seductive way for the attention of man or he might not get the pleasure HE wants, Let not a woman grow wise that the revealing nature of all her womanly goods leaves nothing to her imagination but everything in HIS or Let not a woman grow wise that sitting in the backseat is no fun when you can drive the car... for some might not like the road less traveled.

Road less traveled... yes that all can be about oneself and not another. There are no double standards because there is one standard in which we reference our own conscious, yet we all have to play this game of life.. the rules in which we live upon, but one must decide to what shade of gray they choose to walk. Every cause has an affect and how we choose to wear this body and express ourselves have an incredible impact of personal power and sexual power has been the source of creation and the detriment of it in the like. So we must be careful in whom has control of yours.. let it not fall in the wrong hands. It's responsibility to know that when I dance in the club I am in control and not someonelse thus it never warrants someone to step up to me with rights, just as a bit of a peek a boo of cleavage does not warrant the depraved action of a rape. A strut down the street with hips sashaying left to right does not warrant a disrespectful cat call and when rejected does not warrant being called out my name. Being gifted with well endowed body parts does not enlist me to be the next " video vixen". All it says is that the jury is out on popular opinion that a woman's sexuality is innocent till proven guilty....

With Soul,

Artistic Soul